This August marks two meaningful milestones – one year of Becoming Polymathic and a completed first draft of my novel Forward, A Madison Story, which was finished on Wednesday, August 7, 2024. By no means are these ventures complete, but as I’ve stated previously, it’s important to reflect upon these intermittent markers to not lose perspective. I won’t spend time reflecting on either, that will take place in Letter #0045. I will, however, use them a springboard for this piece’s topic.
Since completing my first draft, I’ve taken a few days off and watched a couple sports documentaries I’d earmarked. One was Golden Boy, the story of Oscar De La Hoya, and Charlie Hustle & The Matter of Pete Rose. To be clear, I don’t hold either individual in high regard. It was interesting, however, the instilled obsession of winning in their respective childhoods. This theme is also central to the award-winning wrestling film The Iron Claw, depicting the tragic life of the four Von Erich brothers.
Transference – A Common Thread
In all three instances, transference was present in the parents. De La Hoya’s father was a minorly successful amateur boxer. His mother was a singer who never realized her dream as a result of Mexican domestic culture. They transferred (hence the term) their disappointment to their son, Oscar. Pete Rose’s father was an successful amateur athlete who, again, never quite reached his potential. Finally, Fritz Von Erich wrested professionally at a high level, but never earned a shot at the World Heavyweight Championship, and decided to turn that obsession towards his five sons. The Von Erich story is by far the most tragic, as three of the five brothers died via suicide, and one from enteritis, all before the age of 35.
There are an innumerable number of instances akin to these three. However, transference is not unique to athletes, celebrities, and other significant societal figures. It is something each of us engages in every day. In layman’s terms, it’s “taking things out on on someone else”. In psychoanalytic terms, it’s the act of directing our feelings or sentiments onto another entity. Transference is one of the foundational concepts of psychoanalysis, and now with advancements in neuroscience, we can attribute biological processes to this ubiquitous tendency.
Genesis of Transference
The neurological basis for transference lies in implicit memory formation. Implicit memories and their counterpart explicit memories are the two basic types of long-term memories. Their names are highly indicative of their nature – explicit memories require conscious recall, implicit memories do not. In our Inception Series, we discussed how memories form, and because of that I won’t go into great detail here. What’s important to remember is the strength of a memory depends on the volume of synaptic connections contained within.
Synaptic Connections and Strong Memories
The greater volume of synaptic connections, the stronger the memory, and the more likely it is to influence behavior. At this stage the line blurs between modern neuroscience and psychoanalysis. Modern neuroscience can tell us from where and when transference instances originate, but it can not tell us the circumstances around the instance itself.
To pinpoint this information, we require psychoanalysis. Said another way, we need to map out the genesis of our memories. Our brains love completing patterns as it allows them to expend less energy. When we map memories out, we are dissecting such patterns. Ultimately if the pattern is a harmful one, in the case of most transference, we are seeking to break it.
Breaking Transference Patterns
You don’t need to expend hundreds, likely thousands, of dollars to go through this pattern breaking process with a Frasier Crane figure; you can go through it with the help of people you trust for far less, assuming you’re generous enough to take them to coffee or dinner.
Like every human process, it starts with curiosity. You must be aware of these instances and what triggers them. From there, you dissect these triggers further, tracing them back as far as you can. Most psychoanalysts believe most triggers originate from childhood trauma, but determine for yourself if their intuition is correct. Triggers identified, you now sever the tie to their origin, breaking the neurological pattern, and thereby changing your behavior.
Breaking Patterns – The Three Cases
Going back to our three cases, it’s clear none of the parents dealt with their transference issues. This isn’t surprising, given psychoanalysis was widely considered a pseudoscience in the 20th Century, and all grew up in the Great Depression or Depression-era circumstances, when the term “mental health” was nonexistent.
What about their children? Well, four of the Von Erich brothers didn’t. Kevin, the surviving one, did, to such a degree he allowed a film to be made about the family. As for the other two, De La Hoya and Rose, the jury is still out, though I would argue given their actions neither has dealt with their transference to the same extent as Kevin Von Erich.
As what transference means to the journey of being more, it is an exercise of freedom. Progress can’t occur when the past lingers. That’s all transference is – the past holding you back. In being diligent with annotating these instances, you are developing a powerful map of who you are. So long as you continue to iterate this map, there is little doubt it will lead you to a life of genuine significance.
Be More.
Become Polymathic.
Quote of the Week: “History is not a burden on the memory but an illumination of the soul.” – John Dalberg Acton