Writing is exploring. Sometimes it’s easy and predictable, sometimes it’s misguided and unsuccessful, and sometimes, rarely, it’s unexpectedly fruitful. This week’s piece falls under that last category. What started as an article about celebrity obsession saved to my bookmarks last year has evolved into a deep dive into parasocial interactions, vagal tone, and how modern technology can inhibit one of the most important human experiences.
Parasocial Interactions
Anthropologist Donald Horton and sociologist R. Richard Wohl coined the term “parasocial relationship” in 1956 while studying the nature of human relationships with media personalities. It’s no coincidence, therefore, the first time I saw this term was in the aforementioned celebrity obsession article.
By definition, these relationships are one-sided. I’ll further argue the term can be extrapolated to describe any interaction between entities interrupted by a physical medium. The medium can be anything from a computer, to a phone, or a wall. Regardless, it prohibits full engagement of the parasympathetic nervous system.
The Vagus Nerve and Vagal Tone
This system, powered by the vagus nerve, controls critical bodily functions such as breathing, digestion, and heart rate. It’s main function is to offset the effects of our sympathetic nervous system, colloquially known as our “fight or flight” system, returning us to a normal, relaxed state. The activity of the vagus nerve is measured by vagal tone.
Individuals with high vagal tone possess high levels emotional stability, positivity, and stress tolerance. Low vagal tone is the opposite and correlates to chronic anxiety, depression, and poor stress response. It is possible to improve vagal tone, but like any skill it takes work, and a lack of practice means loss of skill. Parasocial interactions do not provide adequate conditioning of the parasympathetic nervous system, and therefore vagal tone.
The Consequences of Unconditioned Vagal Tone – An Example
Let’s illustrate this claim with a simple example of a job interview. The first interview is over the phone. You have the company’s information pulled up on your computer along with a list of prepared questions and notes. There is only one dimension in this interaction – you and the interviewer’s voices. It goes well.
The second interview takes place over Zoom. The interviewer can now see your facial and upper body reactions in addition to hearing your voice – two dimensions. As such, you can’t reference your notes and questions at will. The stakes are higher, but you’ve done your homework. They fly you out for a third and final round.
Now, there are several more dimensions. You’re shaking hands with and sitting across the table from the people who until now you’ve only heard through a phone or seen through a screen. You can feel their presence, their tonality is different, their reactions are more comprehensive, and the surroundings are more stimulating. Your vagus nerve is in overdrive attempting to reconcile these new variables. It’s struggling, as this is the first in-person interview you’ve had in three years. You fly home, the interviewer calls back the next day and says, “thank you for your time, but we’re going a different direction.” You’re crestfallen as your intense preparation has yielded nothing.
This example is all too real for people who job-hunted during the COVID-19 Pandemic. Apart from the outcome, this was my exact story. I got the job, thankfully, but it was a nerve-wrecking experience, one which couldn’t have been simulated.
Modern Technology’s Impact on Vagal Tone
Whether it be artificial intelligence agents, social media communities, or virtual reality interactions, modern technologies have been designed to activate the same neurochemical reactions as that of real life interactions. I’m not arguing against the use of this technology; I am suggesting their effectiveness at improving vagal tone is limited. The most limiting factor is their absence of consequence and dimensionality, the management of which is part of a critical feedback loop that improves vagal tone. If this loop is inhibited, our tone is miscalibrated, which leads to failed interviews, or worse.
The human experience is one full of difficult emotional, physical, and psychological challenges. Though we often fail at these challenges, the experience they provide is invaluable and shouldn’t be avoided. Modern technology is extremely useful and can help us prepare for dealing with these challenges, but what it cannot do is replace experiencing them in full and managing the consequences after. Run towards real interactions, you’ll be thankful you did.
Be More.
Become Polymathic.
Quote of the Week: “A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way.” – Mark Twain